havent made a journal in awhile so might as well. all this summer has been is a giant thinking session for me. who should i trust? what am i doing in life? should i feel bad for those ive just kind of dropped communication with? why has nobody noticed im not around anymore? do they care? should i care? etc... basically im going to be a good person and say sorry to all of those i have decided to drop contact with. however, i shouldn't be sorry because those people are still the way i knew they would be and just not notice/ care. so pretty much have a good life i guess. im saying this only to create purpose to my name. call me an ass hole, call me whatever you people want but know i feel just as betrayed, just as rejected by the fact that i have spent my summer with matt hoekstra and zach (who is annoying the shit out of me) only. however josh, this does not apply to you bc i just have to work on rides and such. we will hang soon. i promise. so to all of the ppl "missing me" have fun in life. and thats all the venting for now.



the mood thing wouldn't change. i really dont feel hopeless